Ace Allen

Our second born, Ace, recently celebrated his 11th birthday so he is in my thoughts as I think back on the years of being this kid’s momma.  As with all of our pregnancies, we were excited! Ace came after a loss, so I was very much anticipating his healthy arrival. Most of my life I have battled anxiety and worry and I have not always dealt with these in a healthy way.  The first few months of this pregnancy I was concerned with making it the full term and because I had blood pressure complications with the oldest (Sam), I think this worry was magnified.

We did not know the gender of this baby, either. There was the additional excitement of whether or not we would run out and buy all things pink or if we would just use the hand-me-downs from Sam and stick with blue.  I was in my 34th week and Cory was in Wichita for a doctor appointment. I had Sam (almost 3 at the time) with me at a regular checkup with my doctor in Liberal. My blood pressure that day was very elevated and they sent me across the street to the hospital for additional monitoring.  I was no stranger to this process. I had six weeks of bed rest with Sam so this was not all that shocking to me. However, Sam was three! I asked the doc, “What should I do with him?” He told me, without concern, “Just take him with you.” While I’m hooked up to a machine and cannot get up and have to stay on lying still my left side?  Don’t get me wrong. As far as these boys are concerned, Sam is the most laid back of the four, but he was THREE! I laugh about it now but that was not how I was feeling 11 years ago.    

After about an hour or so, it became clear that my blood pressure was not going to go down and they felt like it would be better to take the baby by c-section.  My husband was in Wichita! Our friend picked Sam up and family made arrangements to get there. Cory raced back and made it there around 7:45 p.m. Ace was born at 8:00. Another baby boy!! Tiny, but mighty. 

We were thrown directly into the preemie world at this point.  He weighed 3.4 lbs at 6 weeks early. Our pediatrician at the time was very confident in his staff and their facilities but after a day or so it became apparent that we would need to go to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita.  They flew Ace out and we followed in our vehicle. Talk about a long drive! Cory did his part to get us there in record time, however. I could spend an hour or two writing about that first experience in the neonatal unit. I think that topic deserves its own post.  I will say now that learning to be a preemie parent is difficult and can be heart wrenching. To walk away from your baby every night and sleep somewhere else and return in the morning to check in with someone else that has cared for him all night is difficult to adjust to.  Fortunately, these nurses are top-notch and know how to ease your fears.     

What we learned then about Ace, and what has held true all of his life, is he (ultimately God) is going to do things on his own schedule.  He would scare us with low numbers in the hospital at any given time of the day and we would get everyone in the prayer chain praying and within 15 minutes he would bounce back.  Later in life, Ace could not (or would not) learn to ride his bike. He decided one day and he was riding it the next day like he’d been doing it for years. Same thing was true for tying his shoes. 

As a baby, he would light up your life with his smile alone.  And, he was a teeny-tiny bit of a thing. He was bald-headed, itty bitty, and determined!  Once he started crawling, he was just always on the go. Lover of the cowboy life and sports, he wants to be just like his daddy.  He has become quite the sports fanatic and enjoys talking with older guys about scores and highlights. That is my Ace. The boy goes from six a.m. until late into the evening hours.  If he is immobile or lying around he is clearly sick. He is neither shy nor timid. God has used Ace to teach me many things.  

In reflection of those days that seem so long ago, I have a hard time remembering the details and would have to look at my notes that I have kept to tell the specifics.  I did not have the faith I have now so it is a Miracle to have survived those terrifying hospital stays in the first place. I know I prayed and I believed but it would have been so much easier to bear the worry if I was where I am now in my walk with Christ.  I wonder if you all can relate? 

God was there with me that whole time, just as He is today.  I believe the difference is He had not gotten “aholt” of me, yet.  I say that sometimes when I am telling stories from my past. “It was before God got ‘aholt’ of me,” I will say.  That might not make a lick of sense.  

I was raised in a Christian home and I knew about God’s love.  I asked Him to come into my heart as a young girl and I proclaimed that I believed He sent His son to die on the cross for my sins.  I was a grown woman before I truly understood what it meant to have a relationship with Christ, though. I did not fully understand what GRACE and MERCY and FORGIVENESS were until 2014.  God was there back then, never giving up, just waiting for me to actually put my full trust in Him. I wonder how many times God shook his head at me and said, “I am right here! Why won’t you just give this all to me?”  I am thankful for His patience and timing. How about you?